dahliaconway

dahliaconway @ 2004-03-12T12:50:00

2004-03-12T17:53:09Z

I don't spend enough time on this...I really don't...the sad part is so much has happened...Currently I'm locked out of my dorm room, because I left my keys in my room for like the 8th time, and I spent the night at Northwing rather than trying to track down my fuckin RA...Damn it all...I hate when I can't getmy shit together!! But, crazy zany days, I've got kareoke tonight, culture fest tomorrow, and movies on sunday...then I've got a test next week on monday, wednesday and thursday...Good thing I'm rough n ready!

DJ Mammery

2004-02-29T15:33:31Z

Welp, this morning I'm at my mom's humble apartment here in North Buffalo, and we're all just kickin back. Last night I was able to drive into good ol' EA and pick up my brother Kiel. I took him out for some ice cream at Kone King before we left. It's nice to spend time with my littlest of brothers..even though he's not so little anymore.

The first month I was here at College, I didn't really miss my family that much, or even my friend to a certain extent. But now I kind of do. Well, I definatly miss my friends, they're numba' 1, hehe. They've gotten me through a lot and had to put up with my terrible moods while my family was going to shite this past year. To them I say, "thank you".

My dad is as onery as ever, but I still miss the old fart every once in awhile. Not as in, "gee, i want to move back home" miss him, because, TRUST ME, haha, tht will never, ever happen, not in a million years...only when he's dead and gone will I truly appreciate what once was his company.

At school things are alright, I've just been chillin' like dylan jay. Speaking of which, I'm thinkin I might come back to EA the third weekend in March...maybe come home that friday morning so I can visit the high school,lol-NOT, but I do want to see my friends. Is it wrong that I miss people like Dylan Jay?? Is it wrong?? hehe One of my EA peeps can get back to me on that one....

Off to watch some movies...este luega??sp?? ohh strange factoid, I dreamt that I was going to be a german foreign exchange student last night, and then the day I was supposed to leave we were running late, and couldn't find the airport. So I called up their headquarters in Deutschland, and the lady spoke fluent german, and I struggled with.."erghh...Meine Name ist Emily Pfaff...Ich brauche...Nein!...Wo ist die Westminster fur Buffalo??" (Westminster being the airline). Haha, isn't that horrible?? And now all morning I've been obsessed with trying to remember more german, and thinking abut buying a language book...same for my french...I think if anyplace I'd want to go there as a foreign exchange student, or New Zealand/ Australia...ha maybe even the UK...whoooo knowssss.... Adios!

NIck is a DICK

2004-02-18T18:05:39Z

Sooooo...the ex situation is as follows: NICK is a DICK.

That's right, not only is he an asshole, but he's a super ungrateful, take your heart and munch on it DICK HEAD.

Ok...so enough of my bitching and moaning, I don't want to be one of those loser's who complains about their ex all the time, especially since Nick and I are kind of friends..it's just that he kind of led me on, and I decided not to see him, and he got all pissy.

NEW BOY: Scotty, ohhhh Scotty boy oh SCOTT!!

Scott. is. AWESOME.

Scott treats me kindly, and brings me food to fatten me up. We drink together, we laugh together, and ohhh yeaa.....

I still don't know what in the heck I want, or who I want, or any of that good stuff-but at least I know have one goal to occupy my time with, and if he asks me out, of COURSE I'd say yes.

I'm kind of like that lady in Big Fish, by Tim Burton, where he could only catch the uncatchable woman by asking her to marry him. I'm not saying I need someone to ask me to marry them, but yeah, I'm not really ever going to be with someone, unless it's made clear to me that they want to be serious. I know that's really lame of me to be non-commital but, I've been hurt so many times that I'm kind of sick of being shat on.

Things with NYPIRG are going great, and interning at the Radio Station has been uber-fun. I'll have a better journal entry next time, but until then, have a great evening and a wonderful tomorrow!

I'm DRUNK ;don't read this!!

2004-02-15T07:27:59Z

yooooooooooooooo
so I'm not completely hammered, but i've def knocked a few back..it's a good thing that I'm sober enough to edit, but typsey enough that I don't care what I say.

TONIGHT WAS GREAT!!!!!

AB-so-FRIGGIN-lutly!!

And last night was totally chill, but tonight was better only and because it's VALENTINES DAY, and I hope/know that my friendly smile made someone very happy today:D

No more to write, because if I write more I may blubber, or flubber, or schlubber, and I'm spent.

Night! And happy Valentines Day to all my friends!! I love you!

PS-Jose, is my new best friend forever, check it!

Sooo Tired...

2004-02-08T22:28:42Z

I am super duper tired today, and I dont know if I'll ever wake up...this weekend has been pretty eventful. Here's a recap:
FRIDAY-Woke up tired and dirty due to the somewhat late night, the evening beforehand. This kid from my hometown invited me to go hang out with a group of kids at some bar, but that ended up not happening, so I split. I had class the next morning, and gee whiz I would have skipped, but it was PSY, and Hennessy tends to give a lot of notes. After class I went to do laundry with my mom, and we gorged on white pizza with tomatoes and onions. Oh god, it was really good, and I should feel bad about how much I ate, but I don't give a crap anymore, as long as I can stay in shape, I won't care. We went into EA and got Caitlin, then off to Hamburg for Madame Butterfly, Miss Kyle.
That night the three of us chartered a taxivan,lol-yes, they exsist, and headed over to Daemen College. A fun time was had by all, and we happened to run into Mike and Frankie from Amherst, man I hadn't seen those guys in awhile! Mike was as sweet as always, and Frankie hates me,jk.
After the Battle of the Bands, we hitched a ride with some of the band mates to Denny's. We hung out with Nick (Caits new super cute drummer boy), Duane (bass), and Will aka "Soup Can" (guitar). Bridgette was there with this other girl..they kind of make me uncomfortable, Bridgette's really nice, but whoever was with her was kind of a down-er. After Denny's we all travelled back to Duane's to chill out for awhile.

Upon my first meeting Duane, I thought he was very good looking. He has really cool "spikey kind of" hair, and at the time was wearing these very light contacts, which contrasted against his dark skin. (I say this not because I'm attracted to Duane, but simply as an observation). He is a very interesting character, because at first I thought he was a sex crazed maniac with no manners-but in reality, he's a sex crazed maniac who's a good guy, and very intelligent. Whilst Cait and Nick were hanging out in the basement, Kyle and I had a very enlightening, and fun conversation with Duane..who kind of had to stay up with us as a favor to Nick.

"Soup Can" is also intriguing. Not only does he have a Canadian stalker to rival my American one, but he is a Senior here at Buff State, and according to him, doing extremely well academically...as in 3.77-4.0, I believe..perhaps it was a 3.8 I can't be sure. Either way, Will is extremely intelligent, and was so kind as to correct me on my melatonin mishap...yes, melanin is the pigment that darkens skin. I feel bad for getting it wrong, but I was exhausted, and kept feeling like I was drifting off mid-sentence. hehe, and at Denny's I challenged Duane to a "draw off", where we had to draw the same thing, and see who did a better job of it. He claimed he isn't artistic, so I told him he could tell us what to draw, he suggested drawing Will's penis. Seeing as I have no first hand experience with the "Soup Can", I simply went buy the nickname, and drew a picture of Campbells soup-to the shock and dismay of all. Since Will had to work at five am the next morning, he had to leave the get together early.

Nick gave us a ride home, and we talked about the creepy abandoned Psych Ward that is next door to my school. We got home at about 7:15am.

SATURDAY- After sleeping, eatting, and dressing with Cait, and Kyle, we hung out at the Union and took pictures. I slid down the handrail..it was good times...ALSO-MAD PROPS TO MRS.HADZICKI FOR GIVING KYLE A RIDE HOME! AND THANK YOU TO CAITLIN FOR ASKING:D (way to take one for the team).
After the departure of my friends, I went over and met Jake and Nick at the Library. They invited me to go out with them and party-always the lush, I willingly participated.
We headed over to North Wing to chill in Jake's sweet, where I met two of their suite mates, Pedro, and Tommy. I've only heard about Edgar, but knowing he's a 28 year old freshman that's screwing a fifty year old woman that has seven kids..I'm guessing he's not the brightest high-liter in the box. I also met Pedro's gf Amy, who seems very sweet, and beautiful. She has very clear skin, and a bright complexion. She also seemed really laid back, which is always amazing. I also met Pete, who is friends with Nick, and gave me a Juno pen.
After drinking a bit at Jake's, we (me, Nick, Jake, and Pedro) all headed over to this frat party. Unlike ZBT, this frat party sucked. But Nick and I got in for two bucks, and had a few beers before heading over to Elmwood. On Elmwood, I walked to this drugist with Pedro to get some cloves (my first ever buy). I really love the smell and taste, but I think I will only smoke at parties, etc. because it's just too hard on the old lungs. Pedro is a compelte pimp with a fur coat, and Mary is my HOmegirl t-shirt. He also had some really snazzy sunglasses, and dreds.(I also liked his multi-colored jelly bracelets). Pedro mixes and djs, so I'm going to go down and get some of my training out of the way this friday from 2-5. Pedro and I joined Nick and Jake at Mr.Goodbar. I had a really poorly chalked id, but I got in anyway just because bouncers are sweet like that.

At the bar, I was approached by these Rugby players to play three ball?? I had never heard of this kind of pool game before, but it seemed pretty neato speedo, and I didn't have to pay for anything, so I went ahead and lost the guys some money. Nick tried to help me, but as everyone knew, I was beyond help.
Ha-speaking of which, I got another Kelly Clarkson comment!! I met some of Pedro's friends at the bar,and one of them told me I looked like her,lol. It's a nice compliment, but I really don't care for her music.

Jake brought his ex, Pam, who seems really sweet. She and I smoked on the patio together for a bit, and met this yet another rugby player. (THEY'RE EVERYWHERE!!!) Except this guy was pretty nice, where as the other rugby players just wanted some ass. I also met Mary, who is a theatre major at Buff State. I wasn't a fan of her hat, but she herself is really sweet, and seemed like she'd be fun to hang out with.

After the bar, Nick and I went out and got some of the best pizza I've ever had in my life. It's called 21 Pizza, and it is AMAZING!!! I couldn't believe it.

It was nice to hang out with Nick around his friends, because when we were dating I really only saw him, and how he acted around me. It was nice to get some of the different personality aspects.

After Pizza, I went back, and slept like a baby, since it was so late, and I was/am really tired.

Crazy Fun Weekend with my most awesome friend, Caitlin the Magnificent!

2004-02-03T17:17:44Z

Lets take a walk back to friday-I'm super excited because my friend Caitlin is coming over, and her keen fashion sense, and natural beauty always makes me feel like a better looking person for being friends with her,lol. Uhh, friday night we go out with some of the kids from NYPIRG, and hit up the Kapa Beta Tau frat on elmwood-rock'n party, it cost cait and I three bucks each(btw mo props to cait for loaning me dough, since I was playing the poor college student role, "pity me! pity me!!" jk) and we drank to our hearts content...well, actually, until they ran out of beer.

Now, when I think frat, i don't necessarily think, gee whiz I really want to go! But it was cool, the guys were respectful, except towards the end, when cait and I put on a show, and they got all horney, but it was all in good humor, so it's cool. There was one really cute tall boy there (not Josh but a frat member) and I talked to him for like two minutes, but he was OF COURSE hitting on some little short piece of poo with really short hair...yea, she was pretty, but give me a break!! That's such WASTED HEIGHT!!

HA, oh, on the way out, I fell down the stairs and bruised my prized booty rumpous and side, but didn't realize it until saturday, and I was wondering, "how the hell did that get there?" until Sunday afternoon, when I remembered I had fallen down,lol. Ehh, I will only party on the weekends, and next time I'll try not to get AS wasted...but I'm not having sex, so I have to do SOMETHING!!

Saturday I went to the Continental with Cait, and we saw Massoni Macaroni's band play. Massoni was all about hittin up the hot and sweet Miss Cait, and at first I was in a bad mood because Darth Vag-er was building the Death Star of periods, and I was really tired. Caitlin was patient with me though,and I finally came to my senses and started having fun. After the concert we went back to the after Party at bassist Duane's house. Here I had an interesting and lengthy conversation with drummer Massoni Macaroni and guitarist Will. Will also gave me and cait a ride home, because he's just a sweet guy from Kenmore like that! In any event, at the end of the night I was thankful to have a great friend like that, and meet new friends from the band!

Sunday was also an awesome day-not because of the Super Bowl, but because I was able to go to Mighty with Scott who is a super nice guy, and funny too!! I was really surprised, but I almost pissed my pants from laughter!!! "Right there...Oh oOo! Stroke my prostate!" hehehe

I was on WBNY monday night at eight thirty doing the radio show with NYPIRG, but since I'm not really in charge of anything I didn't say too much...chimed in a few times with weird, not so funny, sexual comments or stories, btu i was really tired because I had just come from running at the gym, and showering in my one by one cubicle in the dorm. *I hope you were listening DON!!!*

I'm going this thursday to try and get trained to work for WBNY, so I can listen to myself talk, and play music-gooo mee!! I doubt I'll be able to, but we'll see how it goes!

Love you much, and thank you if you read all of this beast!
~Darth Vag-er and Lady Vulva signing off~

dahliaconway @ 2004-01-31T15:51:00

2004-01-31T20:52:08Z

so..I guess I'm going to let people view this now..I suppose...haha I feel bad though because I'm brutally honest in here and I don't have pictures or the snazzy advantages of html and photoshop...will update more soon...

dahliaconway @ 2004-01-26T13:05:00

2004-01-26T18:19:41Z

yo yo yo college is off the heazy fo sheazy

seriously I feel really weird being at school, and I guess it didn't hit me until this morning when i was walkign to my intro to psy class. There were tons of kids in the courtyard and I wasn't really used to that many people 18+ haha it's a far cry from east aurora high schooll. i miss my friends a lot, and I miss taking a shower at home. but other than that it's been great.

today I saw lacey and katie in the student union, I hope I see them again, because they're super sweet girls...i wasn't overly fond of them in gym class last year but they are pretty nice. And they both came up and hugged me...funny thing was when I saw them come into the cafeteria I didn't even recognize them, haha I was looking right at them too. Not realy sure what in the hell I may have been thinking, but yea...I hope I can make that hey mr. Rockstar song...ha, i'd dedicate it to chris since he really used me and screwed me over. What a dick...and why I'm hurt by what he did I dunno, i should have seen it from the start...stupid mother fucker just wanted some tail. oh well...if I ever get famous he'll be bragging how he tapped my ass, and dumped me..nahh no he won't..but he's such a tard, who blocks people on aim to break up wiith them?? did he think I woul dcall his house?? what a fucker..i hate being used especially by a short ass fucking canadian....oh well, screw him, there's much more attractive men close to home anyway. that treat me like a queen.

I met _________ on saturday, hes very nice, but I dont' think I'm attracted to him...we'll just be great friends instead...

On sunday I hung otu with Nick and made him help me in my dorm room. we got the tapestry hung and my lamp, haha, it would have taken me much longer to do if he hadn't been there. He also helped me get set up on the internet...of course me being on the net helped him too, he was mentioning how he would log on and look for me, I wouldn't be there, then he'd do it again and just be dissapointed, haha...damn me for wanting to get back together with him...i never did want to break up with him, I was just sick of him pushing me to the side and treating me with such disdain...he regrets it..he knows he was dumb...and he apologized to me...I dont kknow how it will work otu but I let him know that he had hurt me with everything he;d said and done. he schmoozed me of course, and told me he always thought I was cute...and hat I'm amazing....::sigh:: I really am so comfortable around him..I don't feel quite as self concious, and he just accepts me for who I am...he's the only one who's seen all of my scars and still found me attractive, haha...I don' know..whatever...we made out and snuggled and yea...see how things go...not sure really..but I do like him alot fuck me...ha I have been ranting and ravving because I've got to go to class in a few minutes and I didn't want to get there too early, and the kid using the computer to the side of me(because I'm in the Library) haha has been turning to see how fast I was typing it's rdiculous I reallly don't type that quickly, and I obvously make a lot of errors. but to be honest i'm the only one really typing in here and my keyboard is making a lot of noise. hahaha me and my superior typing skills, lol- thank you mr gates and the aim program...talking to ten people at one time can be done, and with ease, however I always had to concentrate harder on what I was saying and or doign and who I devoted more attention to, etc. annnnddd yeaaa, my typing skills kick ass now hhehehhe nd i just wanted to type that really fast just to compare it to everyone elses laggin skills....cameron I know I'm the ultimate lagger so shut up.

Hey mr.Rockstar

2004-01-13T17:01:42Z

hey mr.rockstar, you seem so down today
well hey mr. rock star
whatever could put you in that way?
could it be you left me? and now you'll never get me back again
could it be that you met me? and know that everything's not multiplied by ten, ohh again...
I used to think I wanted to hear you say,
i love you, everyday,
but now I know the truth is real, and you don't care how I feel
hey mr.rockstar,
you think you're too cool for your own band,
hey mr. rockstar, i think you need a helping hand
to guide your blind ass through the tree's,
of your own misery
your hardcore friends all laugh when they see you pass
too many buttons on your ass
hey mr. rockstar, I hate the way you treated me
and yo mr. rockstar, you're not such hot shit to see

blah

2004-01-08T05:21:51Z

it's late at night, and of course i'm moping...always moping, unless I'm bouncing off the walls and people think i'm drunk...(hey-I'm sober!!)
mmm...steven smith of imx is a super fox...so is jonny mosely..mmmmmmm*drools* dinner roll...jonny mosely I wanta have your baby!!!

ehh, despite feeling really good lately, I also feel really saddened and hurt by this kid named chris..I invested too much thought, and emotion into loving him, and ha..stupid me, all I wanted when we were seeing each other was for him to say I love you. I knew he wouldn't..but it was a false hope...and I don't want to make myself sick over it, but I feel so used, and taken advantage of...I could never be my usual self with him either...I felt out of place, and it wasn't right...but at the same time there's nothing better than waking up next to him, or falling asleep at his side....sometimes I just feel so cold and empty at night being alone, all I want is to hear the pattern of breath, and feel the warmth of their body next to mine.

he doesn't talk to me anymore, and he blocked me on aim...you'd think there would be a reason, like I was harassing him?? But i wasn't, and I haven't...and I won't...ehh, fuck it, another musician, another broken heart...and I still keep believeing in people because that's all I have, and if I can't believe the best in others than what can I believe?

My Very First Entry, and Oh what an entry to be!

2004-01-06T06:05:42Z

Everyone's been doing these end of the year wrap-ups...so I'll jump on the bandwagon like the serious poser that I am, and do one too....

This past year I had an intense crush on this kid named, "Joe"...well, like ay intense burning wish of mine, it didn't come true...Joe had a thing for my friend Allison, who is shorter, and blonder than myself,lol...so, i was heartbroken and tired...depressed anyway, and this wasn't the first time I'd been rejected...I even made that kid a mixed cd explaining my feelings for him with songs from his favorite bands, and bought him a giftcard at target...what did he get me?? mmmm....pretty sure it was nothing?? Maybe a card?
Sooo...I'm also having a hard time ont he basketball team..my coach, "hairplug desperado" as I so labeled him was really making me (and the WHOLE TEAM) miserable, so I quit with two weeks left in the season. I've been playing basketball as long as I can remember, so this was a big step for me to take.
Soo, my parents are having trouble, and things are real tense in the house, my dad's always giving me crap abotu something, but that's the norm for everyone.
I get a job at Spencer GIfts in McKinely Mall, and, I end up working with Amy, and Sammy...at first I wasn't sure what to make of everything, but they seemed nice enough, so it was cool. The boss was kind of a bizaank though(chrivvely worm to be precise)...So, then a few weeks into working there, my mom goes into Brylin. Which, if you aren't familiar with Buffalo, is a mental hospital. I remeber her dropping me off at Katie's, and she said she was going to see her doctor...before this she had had some sort of crazy panic attack and they thought it was a heart attack, so she was sent to Mercy Hospital...so I was kind of thinking maybe her heart was bothering her...but nope...come home from my friends later that night to find out she'd been admitted to Brylin. So, since my dad is a fuck, I would take myself and my brothers to visit her when i got off work..I think in the week and a half she was there(she left early), my dad saw her once..not because he was busy, just because he didn't even want to call my mother while she was there....yea, he's a real hum-dinger!
I also was taking many classes last year, including AP..not that that mattered ever...
Enter Taylor Minx...yea, I know, it sounds like a fake name...ha, well, he's kind of a fake person...more so a jerk, and into cat's, but whatever....I had a sneaking suspicion he liked me, and wow, come to find out HE DID!! so we go out, I fall, "in love" and I end up spiraling further into a depression, antagonized by my worries for taylor, and his outrageous accusations...I was kind of in it for the sex, but after awhile even that wasn't enough...he was TOO weird...so we split, and I continued working in a now more and more horrible work place...stupid worm...welcome to summer, I pass all of my exams with good marks, and fail my course three math exam, sooooo My plans of graduating over the summer and mvoing to california are busted. My parents refuse to pay for my summer school, (after I'd already earned an english credit at ECC) and I'm screwed. I start lifeguarding at this pond in town, and begin the tanning session..one day this kid I worked with(yea, worm ahd hired more people...fired taylor...) invited me to a party he was having with his friend...Party? me? single? hot friend?? OK!!
So off I rush after work, and come to find that this, "party" is him and his two buddies...me, and three yougn boys...oh, and an x-box...To make a long story short, after downing two beers, and smoking enough hasheesh to kill a family of cows, I was raped...I haven't told my family about it, and don't plan on it either...then I dated this kid who was 24...and..even though he was much shorter than me, it would have been ok, had i not been weirded out by his, "what do you want me to do for you?" banter while at a certain drive-in..(yes cait, this is the italian job..or should I say...breif blow?) hehehe,ok ok...mmm..things were kind of boring, i was depressed abotu not graduating yet, and the school was hassaling me for doctor's notes(still are btw)...I start seeing this kid Nick, and he was awesome. he accepted me, he could talk to me, he was smart, responsible, attractive, tall, the kid was pretty cool...except for being an asshole...he didn't want to "date" or be my "boyfriend" because "it takes a lot of love, not to love" and he wanted to be able to be the best of friends with me and "enjoy each other's bodies" without committment...yeaaaa...I tried that-IT DOESN'T WORK!!! So, when my parents forced me to return to school (half days) we kind of parted. He was busy, I was busy, we were both looking for an out...well..maybe not him so much as me, since I think I may have hurt him when I told him I no longer wanted to see him like that anymore...still friends, but ha, like that ever works....soo...oh yea, I forgot, when I took my mom home from the hospital, she took my youngest brother Kiel and I out for dinner at the Outback. so, over a bloomin onion she decides to tell me that she wants to divorce my dad...hmm...good approach mom....anyway, she tends to run away from problems anyway...and she was hardly ever home after the hospital was over.
Zoom to this fall...major events...I go on medication for my depression...trylepital...it's..bah, I don't like it, end of story(plus I cna't take birth control on it)...My brother beats me up...I have a bunch of bruises and that sort of thing, I have to go see the school nurse, and speak with the councilor...my mom leaves the hous ethe day after...??? she's crying and saying she can't deal with it..well...thanks for leaving me alone with my dad, and my two brothers, that makes a lot of sense...you can't take peter beating me up, so you run off?? Good call...andddd, on top of all this I'm being harassed by my vice principal...nd have lost credit for two classes due to absences...mmm...I start seeing this canadian hardcore kid named Chris...chris likes me for about two or three weeks and, has since stopped talking to me...i think he blocked me on aim too?? haha, oh well, that's what I've grown accustomed to...he's not much of a talker, and I never felt comfortable visiting him....soooooo...then we've got new people I meet...and Beautiful friends I made, like Kyle, who has had a great impact on my life. HA, I was so busy discussing the cock, I forgot the pussy!!
Back in June i went to putt putt with my friend cait, who had recently been burned by katie who was secretly dating her ex...phewww...so, at putt putt I meet Ross, Kyle, Matt G(oops forgot I dated him a bit in the fall too-since mr.nick allowed us to see other people, no worries, Matty boy didn't get anywhere with me, and it was more to make Nick insecure anyway)Ben, who was caits former flame, Missy, and Kevin(ben's younger sib)...Pheww again...SO anyway, my first impressions of Kyle were kind of like, mmmm...she's real friendly, but sort of different...I didn't think I would like her, but I went out of my way to be friendly because she was so nic eto caitlin, and she was herself a sweetie pie!! So that night I proved my loyalty to the crew by getting cait to take pics of me kissing the plastic caste animals, and wading in the water (scummy water) for golf balls...I also slammed htis ball over one of the huts, kicking everyone else's pansy "four!"-ing asses...Afterwards, we went to the almighty Denny's and I sat next to kyle, who was drawing pretty kitty pic's...so..cait starts dating ross, and working a lot at the nursing home, so Kyle and I hang out and become closer...long and shor tof that is we're connected to this young boy who recently passed away by getting hit by a car, and she and I are soul friends(the panic attack happens around here somewhere cam;)...she means a lot to me, and I to her, so I'll continue to try and be as supportive for her as she has been for me. : D
ok..soooo...back to this fall...I fell in love with this Kiwi named Adam, who is soo beautiful and wonderful and just super cool, the best ever...could talk to him for hours at a time, and did...hehe, made a 345 dollar phone bill for my dad that month-whoa cheese!! hehe, still talk to adamm but it's hard what with me dating men here, I think I hurt him by doing that, and I don't mean to, but sometimes things happen out that way....
I was seeing Chris(later fall)..dream come true for me, but..I guess he got bored, I don't blame him...and..now, mmm, my mom leaves two weeks before christmas, and gets an apartment in buffalo...she smokes pot....and...mm, i love her dearly....but, leaving right before the holidays really stressed me out. I threw up most of the food I ate..I was like a nervous dog, constantly stickign my finger down my throat...not because i liked it, but because it gave me validation...I told chris I was doing it, which was a mistake because he was weirded out I think..even though he tried to help, and did...mmm mistake reminds me of another thing...I went to the Toronto Film Festival in september, I was really depressed, and the friends i went with got crazy, as did I...long and short of it is it confirmed that i want to be in the entertainment industry somehow, and I can no longer speak to vannessa frost, who did her best to alienate me from teh other girls as well-luckily I'v ejust recently been hanging with them again...so many new friends this year, I wish I could name you all!!! But i love you, and I hope that I can continue to be a part of your lives, as well you a part of mine!!
I'm leaving this unedited and just how i typed it out...mmm, special mentions to Ippy Skippy <3, and the Cali Kid :D